PARENTS AND UM, YOU KNOW

Gentle Readers,

I will never be convinced that my parents had sexual intercourse. I cannot even use my typical slang when referring to them: They did not do "it," didn't do the nasty, didn't bump uglies, didn't make love. No way.

Where did I come from? I have no idea. Another planet, I guess.

I also have (had) five older siblings. Where did they come from?

I dunno.

Can any of us imagine our parents doing such a thing? Even if our parents were affectionate with each other?

Occasionally my mom perched on my dad's knee and gave him a little kiss. One of my sisters swears that they kissed each other goodbye every single morning before my dad left for work. I have no memory of this.

My husband and I used to smooch sometimes in the kitchen after supper. Favorite Young Man would groan in agony. We were disgusting. I'm pretty sure he knows we did IT, but I doubt if he would admit IT. But come to think of IT, I really can't imagine my kids doing IT either. Don't want to think about IT. Gross, man.

So that's why I don't have grandchildren yet. And when I do, I guess we will find them in a nest built by a stork.

Infinities of love,

Lola